Hen dos and don'ts

1. Expectation setting is key. When I was having my hen do, my maid of honour very kindly reminded me that “I may be expecting a hen do fit for Kim Kardashian, but I am not, in fact, Kim Kardashian.” If the bride is expecting a week in Ibiza and she’s getting two nights in Berkhamstead, it's time to reset the vibe. If you sell the role in your team as strategy, and on day one that person ends up being the note taker- everyone loses. But if you know you’re going to Berkhamstead, you can find a way to get excited about it. And note taking can be exciting in the right company- it's the gap between expectations and reality that leads to failure.

2. How you do the journey is how you do the whole thing. When you are travelling to a hen do- make it good. Bring the train beers, bring a game; make sure there’s a playlist if you’re in the car, print a giant boarding pass if you going to the airport- whatever it is, the hen do starts on the journey, not at the venue. She needs a veil and a buzz before you arrive. I'm going to put this next bit in caps for the back of the room: ONBOARDING STARTS BEFORE THE FIRST DAY. If there is someone joining your team, think about the experience they have before they start- have they got what they need? Can you send some pre-reading? Have they had a coffee with a team member in advance? Whatever it is, it starts with hello (and if you’re really cool- a train beer).

3. Butlers in the buff are overrated and often actually just quite cringe. Plus, they always want to leave their number.

4. Everyone goes too hard on night one. It's a two-night hen do. You have something casual planned on the Friday- maybe pizza and some games, maybe a night in- and Saturday is the big one. Friday is just the warm up. But- spoiler alert- you’ll have a lot more fun on the Friday. Why? It's quite simple- you’re living on the high of seeing new people, and (more than this) you are at ease. The pressure on a night out is implicit, but the pressure on cheese and a baguette with a bottle (or ten) of prosecco is minimal. When we put pressure on people implicitly- by naming meetings 'Personal development meeting' or 'Quarterly performance review'- you’ll absolutely get better prep, and potentially a stronger outcome. But if you want to use time to build a connection, get to the heart of something, or be creative- think about whether you can make it more like a Friday night than a Saturday at Park End in heels (important side note- apparently no one wears heels on a Saturday anymore).

5. More photos = a less good hen. It is an almost universal truth that the more beautiful looking the hen do on Instagram, the less fun it really was. If you’ve got time to pose next to the pink limo in cowboy hats, you’re not having fun in a bar where the lighting is bad and someone is playing Firestarter on the piano (niche, but it happened). If someone is presenting perfect numbers, consistently showing off the things they’ve delivered and smiles while they do it, there’s probably more to it. Upward-facing positivity is great, and Instagram smiles can make everyone look good, but if you never get the unfiltered version (read: picture of me napping this weekend during the life drawing), then you may want to dig a little deeper. Looking good is fab, but feeling good is better.

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. I’ve just written this with my recovery Malibu and Coke.